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Meet the Moustaches

by The Moustaches

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1.
You say you love me Say you love me truly Yeah, you say you love me Say you love me truly Why don't you come on over? Come on over, honey, and prove it to me You ask me when I'm gonna write you a song You keep on askin' me when I'm gonna write you a song Go ahead and break my heart You'll have your song before too long I'm gonna burn that woman down You say you love me Say you love me truly Yeah, you say you love me Say you love me truly Why don't you come on over? Come on over. honey, and prove it to meeeeeee
2.
I'm tired of working hard for the man all day Just waitin' to come home to my guitar and play Tired of walking down the street bein' nobody Just wanna make it big then everyone'll know me Said I wanna be a sellout Just drop a fat sack of cash in my lap I'll sing anything ya want me to Don't care about art, man, that's the truth Bein' original just doesn't seem to be the way When ya belly's empty and ya got bills to pay Broke as a joke with about zero fans When we started makin' songs this isn't quite what I had planned Said I wanna be a sellout Just drop a fat sack of cash in my lap I'll sing anything ya want me to Don't care about art, man, that's the truth
3.
Seedy Sunday 03:46
I came to town on Monday Came to fill my boots Ash-tray breath and eyes like death Just wanna get a root Neon signs were callin' Handful of Caesar's chips The wheel spun it all came undone That's when it turned to shit It's a seedy Sunday It's a sleazy Sunday It's a seedy Sunday Yeahhh So, now I've got no cash left I think it's all gone Like botox smiles & silicon breasts Fake like the promise of fun I leave town a stinkin' mess I hitch a ride alone There's nothing left, I lost it all I can't go back home It's a seedy Sunday It's a sleazy Sunday It's a seedy Sunday Yeahhh
4.
Hey, honey, saw you from across the dance-floor Liked your moves, thought I'd like to see some more Thought I'd like to mosey on over Thought I'd like to get to know ya There's just a few things that I gotta know Before you take your friends and go Have you ever made love to a moustached man? Would you like the feeling if it tickled your neck? Have you got a thing for Tom Selleck? Would you like the feeling if it tickled your chin? Have you got a thing for Errol Flynn? Have you ever heard of Howard Hughes? Honey, I could be him just for you Have you ever made love to a moustached man?
5.
Not My Wife 03:14
I saw a woman she wa' drippin' w' estrogen She gonna make an excellent milf someday She wa' thicc just like a stone-age Venus She could show ya just what you were made fo' She could show ya what this world's about Yeah, but she's not my wife That kinda woman would eat you alive Not gonna be my wife That kinda woman would eat you alive Saw another woman look like she had a rich daddy Kinda woman made up with her lips painted red Kinda woman get wine-drunk weekdays Kinda woman who lives for brunch & coffee What she gon' do with a rough uncouth boy like you? Yeah, but she's not my wife That kinda woman would bleed you dry Not gonna be my wife That kinda woman would bleed you dry Saw another woman look 'bout 19 years old She wa' lookin' cute she had her hair cut acrossways She wa' rockin' those 90's mum jeans That kinda girl could teach you a few things But you she could never understand Yeah, but she's not my wife That kinda woman love to cause strife Not gonna be my wife That kinda woman love to cause strife My son is waiting for me Waiting for me to set him free Waiting for me to show him the way I'm sure I'll find it one of these days
6.
Panzram 04:57
I was born June 28 1891 I was taught to love Jesus at the Minnesota Training School There they painted us black & blue They brought that strap down on my bare back When they were through I loved Jesus so much I sent him down 21 souls My name is Panzram and I'm 6 foot tall Hunnid ninety pounds of concentrated rage For my crimes I hang in Kansas this day In 1911 near El Pasos, Texas I robbed a man then tied him up There I left him for the coyotes In 1920, City Island, New York I took ten sailors, got 'em good & drunk I blew their brains out with my .45 In 29, Fort Leavenworth I killed a screw I crushed his head with a 10 pound bar My name is Panzram and I'm 6 foot tall Hunnid ninety pounds of concentrated rage For my crimes I hang in Kansas this day We the jury find that on the 20th of June 1929 upon the US Military Reservation of Forth Leavenworth, Kansas, one Carl Panzram did knowingly, willfully and with malice aforethought kill and murder one RG Warnke with a certain deadly weapon; to wit, an iron bar two feet long and one inch in diameter. This the said Carl Panzram did contrary to the peace and dignity of the United States of America. My name is Panzram and I'm 6 foot tall Hunnid ninety pounds of concentrated rage For my crimes I hang in Kansas this day
7.
Sheryl 03:11
When I come by to visit I'm hoping she's around If I'd a lady like her Man, I'd sure be proud I never seen her angry Or yell or anything Those guys wrote 'Pretty Woman' When they seen her walkin' down the street Sheryl Oh, Sheryl Someday I'd like to love a lady like you Her hair is smooth & shiny Like feathers on a crow Her smile is just like sunlight She's the nicest mum I know When I seen her doin' laundry I was amazed at the care she takes Folds it up neat & gentle Then puts it all away Sheryl Oh, Sheryl Someday I'd like to love a lady like you
8.
I'm grateful for the sunshine which nourishes all living things I'm grateful for the ocean often a midwife to my ponderings I'm grateful for the stars when I come home late and they overwhelm me with awe I'm grateful for rain on Sundays 'cause then I can do stuff all Thank you, you make life a little more bearable Thank you, it's too easy to feel like you don't matter at all I'm grateful to the teachers at school who persevered when I gave them good reason to quit I'm grateful to the people at the hospital who fixed my finger when I broke it I'm grateful to the people at the supermarket and the farmers who feed me who I'll never meet I'm grateful to my mother for everything she's ever done for me Thank you, you make life a little more bearable Thank you, it's too easy to feel like you don't matter at all I'm grateful for the water freely given then delivered to my tap by the work of many I'm grateful for my guitar which for all the hours I give it gives back to me in plenty I'm grateful to the people at maccas who're always there to give me a good feed when I really need it I'm grateful for the internet which's given me access to more information than my ancestors could've dreamed of Thank you, you make life a little more bearable Thank you, it's too easy to feel like you don't matter at all
9.
I wanna be a one-woman man I wanna be a one-woman man I'm tired of running around town She gotta have a head of long hair She gotta have a head of long hair Want that hair down, baby, down to her breasts I wanna be a one-woman man I wanna be a one-woman man I'm tired of running around town She gotta have a pair of thick thighs She gotta have a pair of thick thighs My legs are long, yeah, they're long enough I wanna be a one-woman man I wanna be a one-woman man I'm tired of running around town She gotta try & understand Aww honey, pls try & understand This world's a damn cold place, baby, when she don't understand I wanna be a one-woman man I wanna be a one-woman man I'm tired of running around town I wanna be a one-woman man I wanna be a one-woman man I'm tired of running around town
10.
Cold hot lady I think you're great I really need you We should date Cold hot lady, you blow my mind I can't sleep a wink I see you standin' there, you're doin' fine I think I need a drink You make me crazy 'cause you don't give a rat's arse Your shoulder's cold as ice Cut me down with your witty banter Or maybe you'll be nice Cold hot lady I think you're great I really need you We should date Cold hot lady, you fry my eggs You grill my bacon too Pretty clever and you're almost fearless Think I'm in love with you Come with me, we'll fly to Saturn Or somewhere else in space Or maybe order in a cheesy pizza And head round to your place I wanna spend my days with you We can spend the nights together too We won't run out of things to do At the end of the day it's just me and you Cold hot lady I think you're great I really need you We should date Cold hot lady, you chew my balls Nothing's ever right You pick holes in everything You're always ready for a fight Is there a way to make you happy? I think I'll never know To get a smile on your pretty face I'd have to synthesise gold I wanna spend my days with you We can spend the nights together too We won't run out of things to do At the end of the day it's just me and you Cold hot lady I think you're great I really need you We should date Cold hot lady, will I ever get To get close to you? Or will I live my life in regret? And will you find someone new? I'll always think that you're pretty scary I'll handle you with caution I'll always have a soft spot for you Because I think you're awesome
11.
Sometimes it's like everything you try comes up short Sometimes it's like it doesn't even matter how hard you fought Sometimes it's like everything's about to fall apart And you had no idea making it would be this hard But you can do it, man Yes, I know you can Yeah, you can do it, man Yes, I know you can I can see you're thinking of giving up Yeah, I can see you've just about had enough But you are strong, man, stronger than you could ever know It's only when you have to struggle that your true strength begin to show 'Cause you can do it, man Yes, I know you can Yeah, you can do it, man Yes, I know you can There will be times when all hope seems gone When you cannot find the will to carry on But hold on Hold on Hold on Hold on 'Cause I know Yeah, I know That you can do it, man Yes, I know you can Yeah, you can do it, man Yes, I know you can

about

All songs written by The Moustaches

Josef Ormsby - piano (4)
Karl Anderson - trumpet & baritone horn (7)

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Chris Foreman at Swampshack Studio, New Plymouth

Cover photo by Daria Hardgrave
Design by Elle Brennan

All proceeds from this album will be donated to Movember Foundation NZ

credits

released November 22, 2019

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The Moustaches New Plymouth, New Zealand

The Moustaches are all about good times, having fun and doing your best.

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